A Woman Distracted
4 February 2009
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: feminism, love, Mr. Right, realistic, relationships, trust, work, writing
“If you don’t have anything bad to say about a relationship, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”
- George on Seinfeld
OK, so that’s only part of the reason I haven’t been updating this blog. Because who wants to read about how nervous I was to say I love you, and then overjoyed when he said it back? Or how excited I am about the Valentines Day gift that I bought him?
But aside from my lovely distraction, who unfortunately lives in Boston, I have been absorbed in other things lately, and these things I’m going to share.
1. I’m writing. Well obviously, you’re thinking. But really, I submitted an essay to Skirt! magazine and I plan to submit at least one piece each month. Essays, memoirs, short stories, who knows — You might read a novel of mine someday. It all has to start somewhere.
(http://www.skirt.com/ “Women’s online resource for opinion, poetry, fashion, resources, fun and irreverence.”)
2. I’m reading. Did you know that there are magazines out there for young women whose cover stories have nothing to do with how to please your man or how much weight Jessica Simpson has gained? Check these out ladies:
My new favorite magazines: Bust, Pink, and a couple writers mags
BUST – “For women with something to get off their chests” I picked up thismagazine thinking that it would cater to extreme fringe feminists who are on the brink of rejecting gender altogether (From an outside standpoint, I admire those women, but if this mag was targeted at them, I wouldn’t fit the audience.)
Instead, I found trendy craft and fashion ideas, a news piece on why women are paying more for health care, feature stories on Cowgirls — the first American feminists, and great reviews on newly released CDs and books. Basically, your typical women’s mag without all the stories that make you feel like crap. And do you honestly need to read another article about 69 ways to make your man gasp in bed? Although BUST does have a One-Handed Read in the back, a nice touch to complete the frank and honest publication.
PINK - “a beautiful career, a beautiful life” is a business mag for women with style. With articles on how to handle your hefty bank account when you get married, how to get the most out of your heels without killing your feet, and a feature on the similarities between online job hunting and online dating for those women who are feeling a little out of touch with their flirtatious bar-crawling days.
This one is heading in the right direction, but it’s small. And by that I mean thin. The story ideas are huge — my fav was the highlight on the 13 women who are leading countries right now. And despite the stories on shoes, the suggested designer bags for laptops and the pink font everywhere, PINK keeps a business voice. It’s a nice blend of serious talk with a fun attitude.
3. I’m planning. I’ve got a file cabinet now and I’m trying to decide what should go in it besides my W-2 form. If I keep reading and writing, I might be able to actually put it to use. So, off I go to write something brilliant. I’ve got to be fast tonight because that boy I mentioned will call in about an hour…
p.s. I’m not sharing him
Women come in all shapes and sizes…and some don’t support others
10 September 2008 
I’ve been writing a lot about my own relationship status, and everything that goes along with that. But something else has been on my mind lately (along with everyone else’s): Sarah Palin.
Sarah as a person, as a cousin, a friend’s friend, that woman in my mom’s Bunko group who brags about her involvement in her kids’ lives, I can put up with her, maybe even admire her enthusiasm. But when that Sarah runs for Vice President of the U.S. and expects those qualities to convince me to elect her? Forget it.
Aside from banning books at the local library (a grievance for which I will never forgive her) the thing I think says the most about Sarah is how she lets McCain use her. I don’t care how much power she has received in the last two weeks, surely she understands that when she kisses his cheek and calls him a maverick, when she wears impossible-to-walk-in red pumps on a political campaign with McCain (followed by Time magazine photogs), when she wears a hockey jersey with a baby in her lap while McCain wears a suit to a dinner, she is playing to McCain’s tune, and the tune of every other ol’-boys-club white male, to the idea that a woman plays a role in politics only when she helps a man reach his goal.
If she didn’t know that, she would dare to wear a pair of slacks and flats, or discourage the hideous Palin dolls, or stop calling herself a PTA mom and start admitting to having political aspirations. Because honestly, if she doesn’t have political aspirations, why are we considering her to succeed our president?
Any intelligent woman who voted for Clinton must be ashamed to support McCain with such a woman as a VP. How dare he assume that women would vote for any woman, even if she doesn’t support other women, and has no tolerance for women’s rights. As if she could replace the strong, independent, experienced voice of Hillary Clinton.
I tried to talk my mom (a Clinton fan) out of voting for McCain a while ago, but she had too much doubt about Obama. I’m looking forward to chatting with her about Palin.
Jezebel discovered!
1 August 2008 
I love it when I meet new feminists who show me new fun feminist things. My latest lesson was about a Web site, jezebel.com. How did I not know about this Web site? Who knows. But here’s a link to an article I found really interesting today.
An angry woman
It’s been a beautiful week, both in weather and in my good fortune, but I’m angry.
A gorgeous woman wakes up every day with a thought toward success, a thought toward goodness, and sure, a thought toward getting through another day. Honestly, it could be a man, but because of the way it turns out, it happens to matter that this person is a woman.
She’s a reporter. She has always been told that reporters tell the truth, that they should avoid any sort of personal relationship with those about whom they report. So when a man begins crossing that line, as any good reporter would do, she tells her editor, and he tells his adviser. But they don’t believe her, despite her years of loyal service to the paper, despite her experience, despite her reasons for protecting the reporters who follow her. Why?
Because — God forbid — she cried when she realized they didn’t see her side. She was frustrated that the people she trusted in turned against her, because although she had never complained over anything in the years she had worked there, they said she must be over reacting.
Women are not asking for world domination. We are not asking for college scholarships that belong to equally qualified men. We simply ask that men take us seriously, that they consider our testimonies as truth and look into our suggestions as something valid.
All I can say is, thank god the job I just accepted is supervised by a woman.
A Feminist in search of a Knight — wait, is that possible?
Bear with me, I’m not entirely sure what this post will be about yet, all I know is that I’ve been sitting in this office with nothing to do for way too long. I need to write. And I love that urge.
Perhaps my lapse in posting my typical frustrations-of-a-single-girl comments is due to me not really being single anymore and hence, not having many of those frustrations.
As most people can attest, the beginning of any relationship is generally smooth sailing and wonderful. It’s probably even easier when the other person is across the country and the only real problem is the 3-hour time difference. That being said, I won’t bore you with the details.
Instead I’d like to touch on something that seems inherently contradictory to a relationship: feminism. Namely this, why is it that people in relationships tend not to give feminism a second thought, or that romantics think “feminism” is grotesque and a liberal waste of time? And in return, don’t feminists tend to look at romantics who search for the love of their life as women who have given in to the patriarchal society?
As for me, I have always been a hopeless romantic. My first crush was a boy named Michael in my kindergarten class and I think I’ve been crushing on boys ever since. I’m the girl who has hoped to fall in love and live happily ever after (preferably with imperfections b/c perfect is boring).
And yet, I also strive to be highly independent. I want to be a respected individual, and as such I refuse to be dictated by any boy or be considered simply an object of desire by any boy.
So where does this leave me? Well, I’ll never be a trophy wife, that’s for sure, which is good news to me (and probably good news to any guy who wants a trophy wife). But how many die-hard feminists take hopeless romantics seriously? And vice versa? Honestly, I don’t know But I exist right? So other women must also be hard working, independent women who desire to be protected by a man who loves them.
Right now feminism is comprised of a confused circle of women across America, maybe across the world. We all want to be respected, but we can’t seem to agree on how to go about it. (Do we embrace our sexuality or do we avoid it to prove that we’re more?)
Perhaps it’s because we can’t seem to find a link between our need to be loved by man and our need to be independent from him. Until we can recognize that link and learn how to compromise between the two, feminism will probably continue to run in circles.
