Bear with me, I’m not entirely sure what this post will be about yet, all I know is that I’ve been sitting in this office with nothing to do for way too long. I need to write. And I love that urge.

Perhaps my lapse in posting my typical frustrations-of-a-single-girl comments is due to me not really being single anymore and hence, not having many of those frustrations.

As most people can attest, the beginning of any relationship is generally smooth sailing and wonderful. It’s probably even easier when the other person is across the country and the only real problem is the 3-hour time difference. That being said, I won’t bore you with the details.

Instead I’d like to touch on something that seems inherently contradictory to a relationship: feminism. Namely this, why is it that people in relationships tend not to give feminism a second thought, or that romantics think “feminism” is grotesque and a liberal waste of time? And in return, don’t feminists tend to look at romantics who search for the love of their life as women who have given in to the patriarchal society?

As for me, I have always been a hopeless romantic. My first crush was a boy named Michael in my kindergarten class and I think I’ve been crushing on boys ever since. I’m the girl who has hoped to fall in love and live happily ever after (preferably with imperfections b/c perfect is boring).

And yet, I also strive to be highly independent. I want to be a respected individual, and as such I refuse to be dictated by any boy or be considered simply an object of desire by any boy.

So where does this leave me? Well, I’ll never be a trophy wife, that’s for sure, which is good news to me (and probably good news to any guy who wants a trophy wife). But how many die-hard feminists take hopeless romantics seriously? And vice versa? Honestly, I don’t know But I exist right? So other women must also be hard working, independent women who desire to be protected by a man who loves them.

Right now feminism is comprised of a confused circle of women across America, maybe across the world. We all want to be respected, but we can’t seem to agree on how to go about it. (Do we embrace our sexuality or do we avoid it to prove that we’re more?)

Perhaps it’s because we can’t seem to find a link between our need to be loved by man and our need to be independent from him. Until we can recognize that link and learn how to compromise between the two, feminism will probably continue to run in circles.