How to handle ex-relationships seems to be an enigma in our society. Suddenly that person who knows your darkest secrets, who you vent to about everything and everyone else in your life, who can read your emotions before you even realize you have them, that person, who is “your person,” is gone.

Whether this was a serious, two-year-long dating relationship, a recent spark you hoped was going somewhere or life-long best friend who ditched you after a fight, the pain after the ending is raw. Even after time has passed, there’s not exactly an emotional form of plastic surgery to remove the scar it leaves.

Before the break-up, everyone always says they’ll be friends no matter what happens. Unfortunately, it seems the closer two people are, the more difficult it is to adapt when the relationship level changes, leaving them both alone, not to mention in utter discomposure, for an undetermined amount of time.

The worst part about this is that while in this unstable condition, your customary emotional outlet is the only person you can’t consult. So you try to cope in the best way you know how. You ignore it, analyze it, make it out better than it really is or just fill up your life so you don’t have time to think about it. While some of this can provide temporary relief, none of it works in the end.

Whether the break-up was the right choice or not, losing such a large part of your life in one fell swoop, going through months and changes of season without speaking–is this really the best way to deal with it? It seems like staying away that long makes it harder…even if you didn’t miss the relationship, you miss the person and associate that with the relationship, making the entire “x-factor” that much harder to deal with.

While I wish I had some concluding wisdom to impart, alas, I’m just as puzzled as everyone else.