Someday…
18 February 2007 
This one goes out to the single women I know, women who are intelligent and fabulous, women who are already making a difference in the world and who are the heroines of the novels of their lives. Whether these women end up creating a vaccine for a deadly horse disease, raise an amazing kid or two, or write a best-selling novel, they will be successful.
My mom called me on Valentines Day to see if I got the package she sent me. She wanted to make sure I got something because she knew that I didn’t have a “valentine” this year. Following this awkward truth that I’d rather not hear she said, “But you will…someday.” At lease she meant well.
As successful and amazing as the single women I know may be, they need support, and sometimes the most desired support is that shoulder to lean on after a long day. Without that, life is just an ongoing string of lists and deadlines. Nights out with the girls can only do so much.
Most of these women are looking for that “someday.” But they get discouraged, and who can blame them? A few men lie, they deceive women, they use women, and those fabulous women I know lose all hope of success in that department no matter how successful they are in other facets of life.
I hate watching the effect of those few men, but I like to think that it’s only a few of them. I like to think that “someday” romantics like me will be able to come home after a long, tiring, (albeit successful) day and lean their head on a nice guy’s shoulder. In the meantime, there’s chocolate, wine, coffee dates with the girls, and the comfort that if we continue to be intelligent and fabulous we will succeed.
How to be human
4 February 2007 
Another weekend, another list of things to do, another stream of distractions that just make the dreaded “Must Do ASAP” list longer. Yet I continue to ignore the list, accomplishing maybe three of seven items over the weekend. What do I do instead? Nothing really, that is, nothing that looks like a valid excuse.
I went grocery shopping, and of course had to throw in that stop at Liqueur Barn to buy some wine and gobble up all the samples of Super Bowl snacks.
My roommate and I built a minuscule snowman with no eyes or face. Somehow that was worth it, especially when the young couple pulled up in front of my house, two-year-old in tow, apologetically asking if their boy could look at it, his “first snowman.” Although I wish his first snowman had been a little bit bigger, had a carrot, or even some stick arms, I was glad to help.
As much as I hate to admit it, I did Facebook. I think it’s fascinating how that has become a verb: to Facebook=to waste countless periods of time looking things about friends that a.) could be found out by hanging out with them or b.) should not be known if you would not hang out with them in the first place.
With the help of Keith’s high-tech camera, I took lots of fun pictures, justifying it because I had a photo assignment for class, but I’m sure none of the pictures will actually qualify…they were just fun.
I had plans for the evening, plans that probably would have been interesting if not fun, but they didn’t follow through. And yet, I still didn’t get to my list. Continuing to ignore it, I got coffee at Starbucks where I ran into a dear friend from high school, I drove around admiring the snow, I visited some friends I haven’t seen in awhile (and of course took more pictures).
There’s this voice in the back of my head that says, “What are you doing?! You have wasted yet another weekend. You are a double major who wants to stay on the Dean’s List. You are a student who needs to develop good work to get an internship. How can you possibly want a boyfriend when you can’t manage your time when you’re single?!…etc etc.”
I think this voice has a valid point, but it needs to relax a bit. I had a great weekend, appreciated my friends, admired and played in the snow, and still got a little bit done. No one can work all the time–it just wouldn’t be human. Taking on everything we can handle and still managing to have some fun, that’s human.
Failing Tactics
4 February 2007 
So I know I’ve already covered unattainable people, but let’s just say you’re really stubborn and don’t feel like giving up just yet. Eventually, you think, this person will be sick of being unattainable, so shouldn’t there be some way to speed up the process?
But the thing is, people who are unattainable enjoy being unattainable. They like being unattached and any forward attempt to attach them will only scare them away. So, as much as I like to think that I’m a “doer” who takes charge of my own situations, and as much as I would normally encourage others to do this as well as it encourages honesty and avoids misunderstandings, this tactic fails miserably when trying to attain the unattainable.
And being an easy-going hookup, though seemingly more effective than being a doer, is also a failing attempt. You become more attached because you think something will come of it, and the unattainable person becomes less interested. In the end, that person may look back at you with fond memories instead of the terrifying disgust at your clingyness, but you are left an emotional mess.
A combination of the two…well if your object is an unattainable and you’re a clingy hookup, you have no chance, might as well jump off the boat and find a completely different one. The unattainable is no longer interested, disgusted, and has complained about you to his/her friends who are now also disgusted with you.
Those deplorable options being said, keep in mind that they only apply to the unattainable and could be perfectly reasonable tactics with any normal person who is not terrified of attachment. And even for the unattainable, all hope is not quite lost. You’re best option is the friend option (I know, I can feel people cringing at the thought, but just work with me for a second). As a friend, you maintain any curiosity the unattainable may have toward you, so he/she does not get bored with you. You also build up a more personal bond that is not clouded by sexual expectations. And if you’re patient enough and the unattainable stops being so stubbornly unattainable, you may have a chance.
The most difficult and most important question here is this: Is he unattainable? Because how I move forward (whether I move forward at all) depends almost solely on the answer to this question. I thought I knew and then, like I said, complications arose and now I’m just waiting until I find out.
